The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

I stopped updating this blog with details of my affair, not because the affair came to an end. Sparks did not fade and leave us drifting apart; my Beau did not confess all, nor did we sail off into sunset for a happy ending.

The novelty of revelling and proclaiming each and every detail, however, did wear off. I stopped updating due to my desire to hold every moment as precious, private - maybe even sacred. To me, they always will be.

Sadly, the story was not all perfect. We've finally come to the end of our affair and our last chapter is a fraught and painful one. It would seem deceitfulness is a trait more ingrained in my Beau than I had first realised - and I wasn't the only one having an affair. After one whole year of sneaking around, being called "Lucy" (which is not my name) on the telephone and stealing moments of intimacy I finally realise I was not the dirtiest of his little secrets. And now I am on the receiving end of the pain of another person's affair.

In the past week, I have learned more about my Beau, his past, his present and his very person than I had ever imagined. The person I once adored, now leaves me numb. The shock still resonates that the man to whom, for a year, I aimed my affections is not the person I once thought.

I should have remembered: Getting to know someone is getting to know how bad they can be, not how good.



I guess I should sign off this final entry in the traditional understanding of my moniker; A pained and distinctly EX-girlfriend...